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Motherhood: What’s In It For You?

A mom's journey. Is it all it's cracked up to be?

Last week in Moms Talk, asked,   Here’s what some of our readers had to say:

, “I think the way to deal with this is the same way we deal with use of other recreational and therapeutic drugs, such as alcohol, tobacco and painkillers. We explain to our children that there are responsible ways for adults to enjoy, say, wine or cigars, and we model that behavior. (For example, drinking in moderation, never driving under the influence, being careful not to inflict second-hand smoke on others.) We also need to explain what medicine is, what it's for, and how to use it safely (e.g., we don't take medicine for fun, but it can really help if we have a headache, we take only the prescribed amount, etc.)” Andrew, “Oh sure, don't let the kids smoke pot, the only thing that isn't toxic, doesn't cause cancer, doesn't kill brain cells ect. Just let them drink and smoke cigarettes until their livers rot away and their lungs turn to raisins.”

Jacob123, “I really appreciate the effort placed to give us more information. I do however, feel uncomfortable with the above links, there is lots of mis-information which is really unfortunate. When someone makes decisions based on mis-information, they have made an incorrect decision.

"For Example: There is scientific proof that Marijuana does not directly cause cancer, The violent outbursts are false, I have consumed with thousands and thousands of people, never once led to violence. There are other issues that are directly related to cannabis's legality status that are negative, but legalizing would remove those issues instantly. Well, give us Americans 1 season to catch up with our inventory.

"I am going to find some actual negative things about cannabis to level the playing field, stay tuned.”

Now onto this week’s topic: Motherhood: what’s in it for you? 

As Mother’s Day approaches, I’ve found myself reflecting on motherhood. I know it’s a shared experience of just how fast time is moving, how quickly the kids are growing and how they’ll soon be leaving the nest. 

I was an older mom and though I thought I had wisdom on my side and had seen girlfriends go through their rearing years, I was still unprepared for the experience of being Mom; the not knowing, the thrills, challenges, fears, love, pride, the immense gratitude and the realization that they, as much if not more than me, are the teachers. 

With our kids in their mid-teens, we’re definitely in the "breakaway" phase where tensions, frustrations, and arguments are more prevalent and challenging. When I’m in the midst of some of these challenging moments, it takes deep breaths, sometimes distance, perspective, and reflections to remind me of gentler days … .

A wash of love the day our 3-year-old son greeted his new sister with a gentle hug and spontaneous kissing of her toes; a flood of pride at his fifth-grade graduation speech when he spoke of all he was grateful for (didn’t realize he’d been paying such close attention); that tightening in my chest the first time our daughter rode her bike to the library alone—realizing after the quiet release of breath that I’d been holding it until she returned; the awe over her works of art or brilliant connecting of the dots in critical thinking as she puts her world together; the experience of anxiety letting them fail so they can experience success from picking themselves up and building resilience and self-confidence; the delight in their offering up our booth to a larger family in need a spot for dinner.

It’s important, especially now, that I share these with them and let them know how blessed I am to be their mom. Is Motherhood what I expected? Not by a long shot. Is it what I wanted? Upon reflection, that and more; I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It has been and continues to be the richest, most full and vibrant journey ever. Moms are the glue that holds us together; they weave the fabric that creates our colorful communities. 

What are your best moments, your crazy memories, the ones that make your heart sing, or the ones that make you brave? I’d love to hear about and share them. 

So much of our lives happens around tables, so what better way to celebrate moms than surrounding her with loved ones and feasting. Be it dining at your own table, or treating her to new and favorite meals out, Cin-Cin Wine Bar, The Purple Onion, Dolce Spazio, Gardinos, wonderful gifts for the table or home The Maids Quarters, Los Gatos Company, flowers from the wild, or a walk in the park, and conversations in nature; treat our moms and celebrate!

Sheila Sanchez (Editor) May 03, 2012 at 01:21 AM
I don't think it's a coincidence that women have the most important role in the human family, which is nurturing and teaching of children, our future.
Carrie Vawter-Yousfi May 03, 2012 at 04:10 AM
Thank you Tamara for reminding us to stop and celebrate the journey. My most recent accomplishment was seeing my oldest daughter participate in musical "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" this past weekend at CMT. From the volunteer hours and taxi driving to and from the hours committed was insane but the reward was worth it, she had so much fun. We are so proud of her. I guess that's what they call being a "Stage Mom!" Coach Carrie
Jennifer Croll May 03, 2012 at 04:34 AM
I really loved that article! It is so important to stop and take a moment to reflect on the moments that have created laughter and joy in our lives! Happy 'Mother's Day Month' to all of you out there! J
Dyan Chan May 03, 2012 at 04:37 AM
Motherhood is overwhelming--wonderful and terrible, incredibly hard and the most natural thing in the world. I love being a mother and being a daughter to my own cherished mother.
Tamara Archer May 03, 2012 at 05:19 PM
You're right! I'm so proud to be part of such a powerful and important sisterhood :)
Tamara Archer May 03, 2012 at 05:25 PM
Yes, it's a lot of work but enjoy it now because the stage phase does seem to peter out in favor of other interests and/or just a time factor; they're some of my fondest memories. It's an interesting process watching them become bigger or more of themselves while playing 'someone else'. I heard she was maaaawvelous!
Tamara Archer May 03, 2012 at 05:31 PM
So true. Reflections and remembering are key to developing the depth and patina to our lives. And just as, if not more important, is being present in the moment, to the richness that is right now. I love your outlook!
Tamara Archer May 03, 2012 at 05:36 PM
Yes, couldn't agree more Dyan, and how wonderful that you are wrapped in such a delicious sandwich!
Erika Taylor Montgomery May 03, 2012 at 07:19 PM
Being a Mom is one of the most difficult but rewarding jobs there is! I'll never forget beaming with pride as my son gave the Valedictorian speech at his high school graduation last year and had the entire audience rolling with laughter throughout!
Tamara Archer May 04, 2012 at 07:19 PM
What a fabulous accomplishment and honor for him; and proud moment for momma! Sounds like it was rich with personality and definitely one for the memory books.

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