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What Standards Should We Hold our Kids to?

What do you say to your kids when the adults they look up to display hurtful and malicious behavior toward them, and the people they love?

Recently my husband, after volunteering with the Boy Scouts for eight years, was unceremoniously kicked out as an assistant scoutmaster from my son’s Los Gatos troop.

When my husband asked why, he was told that they (the two other dads) were not obligated to give him a reason.

Rumor has it that their actions were the result of our open-minded views on religion and gay rights.

Even though the Boy Scouts of America is a very conservative organization, I was surprised and very hurt that here, in the town in which I grew up, the views of two ultra-conservative volunteer dads were enough to keep my kids from going on Boy Scout campouts with their own father, forever.

My sons were heartbroken and confused.

They have grown up schooled in the teachings of the , whose goal is to build a community-wide supportive network for all our young people.

They have grown up with tolerance.

They have straight friends, gay friends, Jewish friends, Baha’i friends, Catholic friends, and none-of-the-above friends.

How do I explain to my children that even in our town, adults that they looked up to sometimes exhibit the kind of mean, exclusive, bullying behavior that we trying to steer our children away from?

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Chigiy Binell June 23, 2011 at 06:38 AM
Hi Brad, Ummm, I hate to burst your serotonin bubble but the Chinese scientists you speak of were running tests on mice. The study showed that male mice with low levels of serotonin were less picky about which sex mouse they mounted. The male mice with normal levels of serotonin still mounted the same sex mouse 20% of the time. So I guess the "gay issue" is still with us.
Brad Hayden June 23, 2011 at 08:18 AM
I guess science isn't your strong suit. Research of this kind almost always starts with mice. Soon they'll be using primates and then we'll see what's up. Your right that the mouse still mounted the same sex 20% but this research suggests that homosexuality is in fact caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and not a matter of being born gay. Staying out of the religious aspect of being gay, let's look at the basic construction of all creatures and natural selection. Nature creates animals, including humans in two distinct sexes, why? If it were truly the intent of nature for same sex couples to exist, there would be some sort of natural way for these couples to pass on their genetics to the next generation. But because nature never intended to have same sex couples, the only way these couples can have offspring is for science to get involved. So in the wild, yes there are homosexual animals, but they never pass on their DNA and their line dies off. This research shows how our behavior can be and is controlled in part by brain chemistry. Doctors treat people with mental disorders with drugs that alters the brain chemistry. So yes, The gay issue is still with us, but for how long. If they discover that homosexuality can actually be treated and corrected, then gay rights, gay marriage and gay pride all fade into the pages of history.
Jacqueline June 23, 2011 at 10:12 PM
And yet, Nature keeps producing gay creatures, all by itself (which continue to exhibit homosexual tendencies regardless of serotonin tweaks). Homosexuality exists in the human and the animal worlds as a normal variation - approx. 10%. Interestingly, is similar to the percentage of folks who are born left-handed. (And everyone used to think those folks needed fixing, too). Anyway, it has been noted above that the Girl Scouts are more inclusive and less discriminatory than the BSA, so please let's not lump them together.
dennis gobets June 24, 2011 at 04:56 AM
Unless neural transmitter "adjustment" works (without unwanted side effects) and is made mandatory by some world-wide force that doesn't yet exist, I guess we'll have the "gay issue" to bandy about for the foreseeable future. That point is moot. The subject of the article is what standards we should hold our kids to. The issue is whether an Assistant Scoutmaster, a dad with two boys in the troop, should be dismissed after 8 years of giving his time and support to the Scouts, for reasons that two men refuse to explain. A Scout is brave enough to stand up for what he believes, in public, in full daylight. To do otherwise, UNLESS this ASM did something really harmful to the boys, is dishonorable. If the man harmed the boys, let's have him arrested. If he didn't harm the boys and his crime was not agreeing politically with the secret troop committee members, then the shame is on the committee members for punishing a man (and his sons) in such a chicken sh_t way.
Amie Sue July 18, 2011 at 10:02 PM
What's the latest in the BSA investigation? Any updates?

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