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How Do You Find Special Moments to Share With Your Child?

Spending quality time with our loved ones, particularly our children, is crucial to their well-being.

Through the years, many families will go through ups and downs. Whether it be a move to a new town, a job loss, or a battle with a medical concern. 

Recently, my family and I went through quite a traumatic experience. We were filled with shock, confusion, grief and ultimately loss.

My niece, Faith Joy, was born and to our surprise was struggling for her life. She came into the world with unexpected, but serious complications that unfortunately led to her passing after two short days of life. 

Following her death, I found myself deeply saddened, but also inspired to become a more attentive and affectionate mother to my 1-year-old son.

I have realized that I can find joy in all the moments that once drove me crazy. I now also recognize moments that once seemed to pass me by unnoticed. I engage with him like I never have before.

It is unfortunate that sometimes it can take tragedy to bring these special moments to light.

I will be forever thankful to little Faith Joy for all the gentle reminders about life, motherhood, and love that she has left behind for me. 

With this story in mind, I am curious … How do you find special moments to share with your child?

Thank you Los Gatos Patch Moms Council Co-Captain Chigiy Binell for asking a question that's in every parents' mind with the approaching Halloween candy trick-or-treating. What do you do with your kids' Halloween candy?

Here is what some of our moms had to say:

After a few days, I was so disgusted with the gluttony that I hid Saxon's candy in a top secret hiding place. Which I promptly forget. (Early onset of Alzheimer's?) We ransacked the house but seriously couldn't find it until Easter and by that time he had a whole new stash.

I help my kids go through their Halloween candy. I stick out my bottom lip and point at the snack size Reese cups. That's how I get one or two- if there are any.....I can't imagine taking, hiding, or stashing their Halloween candy? It's their booty...it's a tradition! It's one thing I don't monitor. If I was to tell them NOT to eat it- it would only make them try to eat it all and want it more. After 3 or 4 days of snacking, they really don't want to look at it anymore besides, by then all of the primo stuff has been eaten, and I just throw away the petrified Bazooka gum (after reading the comic,) and rock hard Milk Duds away. They usually get sick of eating their candy on their own before they consume enough of it to do them any harm. Confiscating their payload takes all of the fun out of the entire celebration. It's what Halloween is for IMHO. That, and dressing up as what EVER you want for one night of reckless sugar fueled abandon! I'm so happy that our town makes such a BIG deal about Halloween! YAY!"

I remember coming home from trick-or-treating and sorting all my candy in neat rows according to type. When I left to brush my teeth and came back, my dad would have eaten a few of my Snickers bars and would be grinning like the Cheshire cat. Now that I have my own kids, I don't sneak their candy, but I do accept any candy they want to give me (even if I don't like it ... then I just take it and throw it away). As far as their own consumption, I parcel out the candy a little at a time (usually two Fun Size pieces per day), until they've eaten all the good stuff or lose interest in it. I know they're still getting way too much sugar, but that's what we do. I've also tried letting them eat as much as they want on Halloween and then throwing or giving the rest away ... that didn't work for us. Sorry I'm not much help!

Dyan Chan October 26, 2011 at 07:57 PM
My husband and I divide and conquer ... he takes one kid and I take the other for some one-on-one time. We don't do that often enough, but I do think it's important. This weekend I'm taking my older daughter on a mother-daughter weekend at Camp Campbell! This is the first time we've done this ... and I'm excited to try it. Sometimes the planned one-on-one time is hard--my daughter wants to bring a friend and then I feel hurt because it's encroaching on "our" time--but I'm going to keep on trying.
Chigiy Binell October 27, 2011 at 05:10 AM
Let's see, I have teenagers so those moments are fewer and father between. Ummm my special moments usually involve food, cars and movies. Sometimes they will actually sit down with me and talk about what's going on at school in between large bites of their favorite food. Or sometimes I trap them in the car with me while I chauffeur them around to their various events and give them the third degree. Or I'll let them watch something that their not supposed to, keeping my finger on the remote, and we dish and laugh and if something bad happens i change the channel and we laugh some more. I'm actually lucky, they both still don't mind being seen in public with me.
Brad Hayden November 01, 2011 at 07:38 PM
There many obligations that we have in our lifetime. The most important of them is having faith in a living God and the Salvation that he brings, the second is our obligation to our families. To often parents are so caught up in the "rat race" (showing my age here), the pursuit of things, a bigger house, a nicer car, the big boat for those summer getaways, the designer clothes, all of which means absolutely nothing. If you are concerned with how others perceive you, you've missed the point of life itself. Its not your neighbors opinion you should be worried about, its your children's. If you sacrifice time with your family for work, your children will begin to think that they are not important to you. Admittedly, there are times when this must happen, but if you make a habit of it, it is your children who will suffer. Children are great, anything and everything can and does happen. Due to my ex-wife and her games, I was deprived access to my daughter for more than 12 yrs. As a result we now have a very poor relationship, but we're working on it. At least now she doesn't completely hate me. I have access to my three grandsons and we play games together through facebook. They're always welcome at my home and we chat over the internet on a regular basis. Everyday I see parents missing opportunities to interact with their kids. But I know that if they knew what I know, they'd be far more attentive and engaging with their children.
Sheila Sanchez (Editor) November 01, 2011 at 07:57 PM
Thank you for the comment, Brad. I totally relate to what you're saying. I didn't begin to have a relationship with my father until I was a lot older as a child and it really affected me. Throughout the years we've worked on strengthening our relationship and it's worked. We're now much closer and I understand him better. By far, my best memories as a child are of just going to the park with my dad or him taking me to see his parents. Thank you for the comment and may you continue to work on building stronger bonds with your children and grandchildren. As you've pointed out, spending time with them should be one of our top priorities.

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