.

Can We Be Everything We Want?

To be super mom, super wife, super daughter, super girlfriend and super fit in one day you must get a nanny, a driver, a maid, an assistant and a trainer ... or just appreciate who you are!

Dear Diary,

How is it possible to be everything that you want?! Even if you have the very best intentions every morning when you wake up? and I'm already getting more stress lines on my need-to-Botox forehead!

My kids showed me this summer the exact "looks" I give when I'm stressed, or don't approve of something and it's no wonder that I have those lines! Scary! But seriously ... how does anyone manage to maintain a smooth forehead these days?

Between "wake-up," "breakfast," "brush your teeth," "put on your shoes," "get out the door," "car's leaving," "don't forget your lunch," to the duties of pick-up line, soccer practice, homework, laundry, getting school supplies, play dates, water-polo, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, trying to eat dinner as a family all at one table, more homework, "bedtime," there really isn't much time for me, let alone make some money to help support all of it!

How do those perfect people manage all of it?!

So I was at the gym yesterday morning trying to, at least, work on "fit" (forget about super fit), and I overheard a conversation about transport.

It was day two of school days and these super moms, who were absolutely super fit, were discussing the challenges of how to get kids to where they need to go, everyday between the hours of 7-9 a.m. and 2-7 p.m. When faced with multiple children, the task gets larger and is really too big for even Superman to navigate!

Granted, these women do get from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. to clean the kitchen, finish the laundry, make beds, clean bathrooms, workout, grocery shop, plan dinner, plan play dates, plan doctor/dentist/orthodontist appointments, plan week so I guess they should feel privileged. After all, they do live in Los Gatos.

How many of these women also carry a job? How many of these women also volunteer? How many of these women also care for their parents or extended family? How many of these women have children that need special assistance? How many of these women suffer from depression brought on by the race to maintain a stature in this community?  

The point is, give them and me a break. Give your next door neighbor a break. Give your sister, mom, aunt, best friend a break. She deserves it and, without a doubt, needs it!  

As I continued to eavesdrop on these moms in the gym, I couldn't help but to introduce myself and say "let's get a driver." "Let's get a driver with an 8-12 passenger van who carries our children from sport to sport and function to function. Simple and a spoiled rotten solution to the problem but, is it really?

If enough of us got together, we would surely utilize that driver full time and we could decrease costs. Dare I say that we could even use that driver to take us out on "date night or girls night" once in a while while taking care of and protecting our loved ones? Isn't that what multitasking is all about? We are modern women after all.

I believe that it is something to look into ... any takers? I'm in.

Sheila Sanchez (Editor) August 22, 2012 at 08:25 PM
Wow, J! You're dynamite! What a great post that addresses so many of our issues today as women in a society so focused on achieving and perfection. The short answer to your question is, NO, we can't be it all although we sure try to our own detriment! We must do what we do well and leave the rest to others who are there to help us. Hopefully, we all have those special people in our lives, be they spouses, best friends, etc. Who can fill in the gaps. Trying to be everything is impossible and unhealthy! Thank you, again, Jennifer, for an outstanding Moms Talk Q&A topic and column!
Dyan Chan August 22, 2012 at 09:25 PM
I agree, Jennifer. It's overwhelming! I do think our attitudes have a lot to do with it. As women, we seem to be prone to put ourselves last, even though we know we have to be first -- or at least close to first -- in order for us to be effective at doing for everyone else. In general, men seem to have a much better handle on this. (I don't mean to over-generalize, but I do see a man almost every day who regularly makes sure that he makes time for himself. Just saying.) So I say "get the driver!" Why not? And I also agree with you and Sheila -- let's all help each other out. Carpool! Potluck! Share! I'm going to Costco tomorrow -- need me to pick anything up?
Stephanie Bennett August 22, 2012 at 10:14 PM
Great article Dyan...my kids haven't started school and as a mom with a full time job outside the home, I am dreading it! Summer is the one time of the year all I have to do is wake up, take time for a run, shower and go to work (thanks to a super-fantastic college student who comes during the summer). The school year sometimes turns me into the parent I don't wish to be...rushed, frustrated and nagging. Thanks for the reminder!
Zoe Alameda August 22, 2012 at 10:18 PM
Being a "super mom" only happens when you are young and don't work outside the home and live in a 1950's T.V. series like "Leave It To Beaver". We need to rely upon our community, family and friends to help us balance our lives.
Mckenna Smith August 23, 2012 at 05:39 AM
Ms. Croll certainly looks like she's does it all and with a lot of class! Love her new store, the Little Black Dress shop!!!!
Maaliea Wilbur August 23, 2012 at 05:55 AM
Anyone read "Good Enough is the New Perfect"? Not only a great book, it's turned into my personal motto for the year! No way we can do it all...but I think the driver could actually get you one step further! Loved the article Jennifer!
Tamara Archer August 23, 2012 at 04:59 PM
Boy, you hit lots of buttons with this one and it does 'take a village' to raise our kids and live our lives these days, though our village may look different than before. And when it comes to those seemingly endless reminders to the kids, I am doing my best effort to move away from 'nagging' and letting natural consequences do the heavy lifting. If they forget their lunch, they have to deal with it at school; I'm not making an extra trip. When they were younger, I finally got to the point of 'ready or not, we're leaving in 5 minutes.' It only took a couple times of them getting in the car in PJs and getting dressed in the car to realize they needed to make changes. We're not a reminder free home but a whole lot smoother, more helpful, and more responsible than before. Great post!
Irene Aida Garza-Ortiz August 23, 2012 at 11:51 PM
I don't have children & I really don't know how these women do it? I'm a Athletic Trainer & because my job is "physical" I can become so tired, & overwhelmed. I find taking Naps help a lot! Kudos to you Women that can juggle it all!

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