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Dear Diary, My Best Friend Died ...

How do we find time to appreciate those around us? How can we not take for granted those whom we love?

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I woke up, jumped out of bed, hopped in the shower and headed off to work thinking that I knew what was to be of the gorgeous summer day.  

I was going to open the store for the contractors, continue to re-arrange for our opening and head to the doctor before meeting my new CFO at the bank all before 10 a.m.

All of that happened much as expected. I had gotten a call from a former friend at 10:30 a.m., but I was in the thick of my morning and decided to listen and call back later. Then more paint, more arranging, more going through my list ...

Then stop. Everything came to a sudden pause when I got a dreadful one-line text. The voicemail I hadn't listened to was still on my phone so the person had no choice, but to text because she hadn't heard from me.

The awful news: one of my very best friends in LA died the night before in a freak accident. Suddenly nothing else mattered.

It's amazing how much time we spend on doing everything we need to do every second of every day. It's tragic that sometimes it takes an awful event to make us stop and think of how lucky we are to have the people we love in our lives.

So Diary, I cried. And I'm still crying but, in between those tears, I have decided to call or meet up with everyone that I hold dear to my heart.

Time is our most precious asset. If we can train ourselves to stop at least five times a day to touch base with ourselves and think about who we can call, see or just be thankful for maybe when time stops, it won't hurt as badly.

I'm making that vow to myself today. I miss you my friend. My time with you was some of the best of my life.

Tamara Archer July 26, 2012 at 01:16 AM
My heart goes out to you for your loss. It’s always tough to lose someone we love, and even more so when it’s unexpected. To your question, I think it takes both aspects to make a whole. We can’t appreciate hot without experiencing cold; we can’t value the day without knowing the night. It is the experience of loss that has us be grateful for what we do have and who is in our lives. I don’t think we can truly live in a perpetual state of one side or the other but one enhances the other and brings the other into heightened state as we move through the moments of our life. Thank you for the reminder and I will kiss and appreciate those in my life, more fully.
Sheila Sanchez (Editor) July 26, 2012 at 01:44 AM
Jennifer, I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers being said on your behalf and on behalf of your loved one's family. I lost my father-in-law last November and I'm still grieving that death. I just want you to know that I think the world of you! You're truly one of the sweetest, most loving and genuine people I've met in my life. Thank you for your friendship and your support of Los Gatos Patch, even during your time of sorrow. Thank you.
Jim Thrall July 26, 2012 at 01:45 AM
The shock of a sudden loss is hard to describe... unless you have been there before. time eases the pain, but loss happens and its up to us to figure out how to deal with it without destroying ourselves and our own lives. The girl I took to prom almost 25 years ago has battled breast cancer for 10 years and has remained strong, courageous, and positive throughout the battle. It has now metastasized in her spinal fluid, so she is on hospice care and is fading along a more predictable slope. At least this spreads out the loss... we know its coming, and approximately when, but its still a loss. I coach a youth sport. From Day 1, I remind and continually reinforce that the only things that really matter - the things that make you a man or a woman - are relationships and commitment to a cause, a purpose. It isn't athletic ability, strength or power, it isn't conquest, it isn't money or time put in at the office. Its relationships and a cause. Congratulations and my condolences for being one of those relationships. congratulations on reaching out and touching other relationships you held in common and recognizing the importance of that human connection. Life is too short. and, like the kids are saying these days, YOLO - you only live once. Not as an excuse to do stupid or crazy stuff, but as an excuse to love unconditionally, to give freely, and to care deeply about others.
Irene Aida Garza-Ortiz July 26, 2012 at 03:57 AM
Sorry for your loss, my condolences to you & your Family. Death is a part of our lives. And this past year has been a tough one for our family as well. Losing my Mami, & Brother N' Law. Grief comes in waves, & I do recommend the class called "Grief Share". It takes you through all the stages of grief. You can google it & find out where there having a Class. You also can go to wwwgriefshare.com & there are daily readings to encourage you as you go through this valley. Praying for healing in your loss.
Maaliea Wilbur July 26, 2012 at 04:15 AM
Jennifer...Thanks for sharing your story. I truly believe there is so much to be learned from the experiences our friends and family. Your story has reminded me to slow down and focus on the important things in my life...which are often not the things that we seem to make important each day. Take care of yourself during this time of loss.
Mckenna Smith July 26, 2012 at 06:19 AM
Staying in touch, even with those under our roof! Asking how they're doing on a daily basis and really caring about their response. Truly listening to their concerns, problems. Spend time or giving the gift of time to those we love. Hugs also are always welcomed! A pat on the back and an encouraging word! All these can help us show our loved ones that we care about them while they're here! Let's not wait until they're gone to notice these angels in our lives.
Dyan Chan July 26, 2012 at 06:49 AM
You're so right, Jennifer, it's terrible that it takes a tragedy to get us to stop and appreciate what's most important in our lives. Thank you for this reminder. Love and prayers to you!
Jane Darwin July 26, 2012 at 05:00 PM
Thank you Jennifer for being able to share this story. You gave me pause and during the moment I remembered a best friend who died suddenly. In that moment I smiled and cried remembering her-which keeping an heart open to love and pain-keeps us human.
Jesse Ducker July 26, 2012 at 05:15 PM
First, so sorry for your loss. Second, I whole-heartedley agree that we should all take the time to appreciate the ones that we love and are important in our lives while they're still living. It's as tough for me as anyone to make myself take the time to let people know in my life know how important they are to me, but I know that it's always worth it.

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