Most Vicious Tug-o-War: When Parents Fight Over Children

When parents withhold their children from the other parent because they are angry or want to hurt the other parent, it hurts not only the left-behind parent, but also the child. Every year in the United States, almost 200,000 children are abducted by family members.

While California Penal Code section 278.5 allows prosecutors to charge parental abduction as either a misdemeanor or a felony, in the 1980s the California legislature created a different approach to resolving these custody disputes.  Instead of prosecuting the withholding parent, the legislature mandated that all California District Attorneys locate and recover children who are being withheld from their parents. As such, the recovery of the child is the paramount goal of the Santa Clara County District Attorney’s Child Abduction Unit.

In California, absent a custody order, each parent has an equal right of custody to the child and cannot deprive the other parent of access to the child. Many custody disputes happen at night or on the weekends, so if you have a court order, be sure to keep a current, certified copy with you. California does not yet have an online repository of custody orders that an officer can check to locate the most current order, so having a copy of the court order is essential.

If a parent has a reasonable and good faith belief that leaving the child with the other parent will cause the child to suffer “immediate bodily injury or emotional harm” the parent may take the child to a shelter or another safe place in order to protect the child from harm.

Once there, the parent must immediately file a “good cause report” with the District Attorney, by calling the District Attorney’s Child Abduction Unit during business hours at 408-792-2921. Since the location of the taking parent is confidential, if the left-behind parent wants to file for custody but cannot serve the taking parent because s/he does not know their location, the Child Abduction Unit will assist and serve court papers on the taking parent.

Law enforcement agencies everywhere are experiencing cutbacks and staffing shortages and every year hundreds of visitation disputes are called in to the police. To free officers to handle critical issues in the field, the District Attorney’s Online Visitation Violation Report system was created. Now parents can directly report the visitation violation to the District Attorney by filing a report on the District Attorney website. 

The reports are reviewed and maintained so that parents who file a contempt action against the other parent can subpoena the reports.

If there is a risk that the child may be taken abroad, the United States Department of State, Office of Children’s Issues is a tremendous resource for law enforcement and parents. It has information on the United States Passport Issuance Alert program and provides country-specific information. Additionally, the National Center on Missing and Exploited Childrenassists parents and law enforcement in locating children who have been taken within and outside of the United States.