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Health & Fitness

A Sweet Goodbye

A Los Gatos mom reflects on what it means to send her son off to college.

Why is this so hard? We have already said goodbye to our daughter and she has not only graduated from college, she has a job! You would think that because we have done this before, it wouldn’t be so hard, but it is. As I grumble and make his bed or sigh as I retrieve his damp towel from the floor I think about what it will be like when he is gone.

No more high-schooler bounding in the backdoor full of conversation, excitement and stories about the day. No more waiting for the backdoor lights to go out because he is home safe after a night out with his buddies. No more essays to edit at midnight because the final product was “a little late coming together” and the deadline is fast approaching. No more baking, transporting and selling hundreds of baked potatoes for the band boosters at Friday night football games. No more walking into my kitchen to find teenage boys stirring up mac and cheese and microwaving hot pockets. No more college applications, prospective student college campus tours and agonizing college decisions.

My aunt recently sent me a wonderful essay written by Barbara Mahany from the Chicago Tribune about her son leaving home for college. She talked about words of advice from her priest on parenting. The priest said that as parents we all have “but one essential job: to give that child roots and wings. Roots, so he is forever grounded, solid, deep. Wings, so that someday the wind will catch beneath him, and he will soar.”

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Right now, I am trying to focus on that. I am trying to focus on all that we have given our son, all that he has learned in 18 years and all that he has given us. Those years when he learned to ride a bike, lost his baby teeth, began to play the drums and throw a ball. Thousands of pizza, spaghetti and roast chicken dinners enjoyed at our kitchen table. All those countless games of Boggle, Cribbage and Hearts we played. The family vacations at the lake, the time with grandparents, the holidays with family and great friends, laughing while making lefse and frosting gingerbread houses. All those years of, "Tie your shoes! Brush your teeth! Work hard! Say thank you! Extend your hand! Look them in the eye! Make good choices! Study hard!" And, above all, "Be kind!" All of this, wrapped up into a great big 5-foot-10-inches-tall package.

Now that the graduation parties are over, the new extra-long twin bed sheets are purchased and the college orientation program has come and gone, I will take heart that we have a wonderful, hard-working, smart son who is solidly grounded so that when he gets to college, he will be able to take all that we have shared with him, do well, and spread his wings and soar.

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All the best to you buddy, we love you and are here for you when you need us. We are glad you are going to one of California’s excellent universities so you are not too far and you can come home when you want to. I will also take heart in the fact that we own stock in Kimberly Clark (the maker of kleenex), the fact that we have a 10-year-old daughter and we won’t have to do this again for eight more years! 

 

 

 

 

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