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Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Managing the transitions of teens as they prepare to flee the nest can be challenging.

 

Last week, Dyan Chan asked "What Makes You A Jock?" Here’s what some of our readers had to say:

Nathan Nguyen

"Love the article. health and fitness should be promoted more often!"

Carrie Vawter-Yousfi 

"I agree you need to find a workout program that doesn't feel like 'work' and be able to see and feel results. This way you can look and feel your best and likely to stick with the program. As for me, I love Yoga. I've been practicing for over 10 years and it brings the harmony in my busy Mommy World." Peace, Coach Carrie

This week, Moms Talk asks “How do you successfully 'empty' the nest?”

I recently read an excerpt from a colleague’s blog that brought the “Empty Nest” topic to mind.

It is that time of year when many families begin making decisions about their teens' future. Whether waiting at the mail box for potential college responses or making plans to stay a little closer to home, preparing for this endeavor can be exciting, but does not come without its challenges. 

Working as a teen therapist, this topic is one that I see routinely surface every spring. Teens are anxiously excited and parents are optimistically fearful of what the unknown future may hold. 

Often, teens see the last few months as an opportunity to spread their wings and begin living as “mini adults” in the world, while parents jump at any chance they have to catch up on unfinished parenting business. 

As you might guess, these two perspectives frequently clash which is why they often end up in my office. One message I constantly remind families of is that although it may be tough, the transition is developmentally healthy and appropriate for both teens and parents. 

With this in mind, I am curious to hear from all of you veteran parents when I ask “How do you successfully 'empty' the nest?”

About this column: Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts, headed by moms Dyan Chan, Maaliea Wilbur, Jennifer Croll, Tamara Archer and mom's coach Carrie Vawter-Yousfi take your questions, give advice and share solutions. Related Topics: College, MFT, Maaliea Wilbur, Moms Talk Q&A, Parenting, and Teens
Have a burning question you would like our Moms Council of experts to help you with? Email your queries to Los Gatos Patch Moms Council Capt. Dyan Chan at dyanchan@comcast.net, or post it here in the comments! Tell us in the comments.

grown and flown

4:14 pm on Wednesday, February 22, 2012

we have a new site dedicated to just this topic. A group of empty nest moms are asking some of the hard questions and finding the answers. i hope you will join us!
Grown and Flown
www.grownandflown.com

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Melissa Pugh

5:59 pm on Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I make it a point to live in the same town as my sisters and my parents. Love Los Gatos. Hugs to all you moms whose babies are heading off to college. Just know your kids are happy and excited to embark on one of best times in their live - and they are going to miss YOU as well.

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Gwen Reandeau

6:04 pm on Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Our children do not really belong to us but remember that you should always have their gratitude and abiding love once they are gone if they have been taught the correct values in the home. Communication is all the more important when their physical bodies are absent from the family home and only their spirits are felt.

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Jeanne Rajabzadeh

8:39 pm on Wednesday, February 22, 2012

While it is great to be involved with your children's school and sports activites, you should develop your own interests as well. Have a weekly date night with your spouse, join a club, or take up a sport, so you have outside interests besides your children's. Kids do go off to college and jobs, but they do call, text, and come home for a visit!

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Dyan Chan

11:09 pm on Thursday, February 23, 2012

Good question ... I'll check out "grown and flown" and I'll be anxiously checking back in for more tips! It's only eight years away ...

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Carrie Vawter-Yousfi

11:29 am on Monday, February 27, 2012

If there is any truth with beginning with the end in mind...it reminds me of this article. As a parent of 2 young girls, it's my husbands and mine responsibility to raise independent adults. My intent is for my children to graduate H.S. and then go off to university. To many parents today whom I speak with say either their kid is not ambitious or the parents prefer to have them live at home longer. Best Wishes to all parents, Coach Carrie

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